Why A Woman Who Understands Her Self Worth Is Unstoppable

Women run the world. Your mom reminds you, Beyonce said it, everyone knows it – it’s just common knowledge. Besides having the causal ability of being able to actually bring a human being into existence, women are the backbone.

Yeah, the backbone – because they support everything.

Women have more degrees, live longer than men, and can demand an alcoholic beverage with their presence. A woman’s worth is as priceless as a mother’s love, a daughter’s smile or your grandmother’s embrace.

This is why being aware of your worth as a women is quintessential.   

I hate the damsel in distress narrative. I hate the housewife narrative. I hate the codependency narrative. From pop-culture to reality we are force-fed the idea of women as subservient, which, to me, was always confusing because my mother was always the scariest and most powerful being I ever knew. My disdain for these typical gender roles stems from how I’ve seen that image hurt young women.

When you fully realize your worth, things like getting hurt, settling, going back to damaging relationships and rejecting a greater love, all become less evident in your life.

Understanding your worth as a woman means recognizing your value and holding yourself to that value. It means taking what you deserve, because you know what you as an entity demand. And it’s about defending what’s precious… yourself. And that’s from what you do with your body to what you don’t, and standing up for the right to do so. A woman unlocks a world of possibilities once she understands just how valuable she is.

Never Settle

All of your other friends are getting hitched. It’s spring, and not only is there not a ring on your finger, but you boyfriend is a child and only visits you at night.

It’s easy to get discouraged into thinking you must enter a relationship, and loneliness is a big reason for this.

You know how much you are worth, how smart you are, the fact that you can smell like cinnamon toast crunch whenever you want, and that you have huge career goals with plans on being very successful for yourself.

Now, being patient until you run into the guy who can appreciate your value will become worth the effort for you. In the process you would have avoided messy break-ups and wasted energy.

“We accept the love we think we deserve,” is one of those passed along adages that has always stuck with me.

It always made me wonder why then do so many of us enter and leave toxic relationships, only to go back to the same toxic relationship from whence they came. It was always bizarre to me.That’s when it dawned on me that those were the people who did not understand their worth.

When you realize you’re a gem, you wouldn’t be able to stand being with coal – you would detest it. And that type of confidence – one of pride and love – is the one that will attract a handler who can cater appropriately.

Takes What She Rightfully Deserves

Sometimes if you don’t take what is yours, you’ll never get it. As unfair as that sounds, you should just take a look at the gender pay gap in America.

Unfortunately such circumstances sometimes embed the idea that women aren’t worth as much as men. But we all know that is not the truth.

When a woman’s eyes are unveiled and she sees past these dangerous mindsets, not only will she come to understand her value, but she’ll just start taking what she deserves. This goes for everything from jobs and pay to respect and a voice.

I think of heroes like Harriet Tubman who was born into slavery, escaped, and led countless slaves into freedom in the process.

And modern day heroes like Robin Roberts, who in the face of a market dominated by white men, became one of the first black women on ESPN and Shonda Rimes, who continues to set the bar for women writing and running three shows on primetime television.

These women did not wait for the right circumstances before they took their jobs. 

Defends Herself

When you realize your value you will go to all types of lengths to defend it.

That means defending the right to police your own body, defending what, and how you choose to dress, unashamedly.

Abortion is one of the hardest decisions a woman can ever have to contemplate, but too often it’s a decision that is stripped away.

Women have their choice stripped away from the conservatives who tell them it’s wrong, from their no-good lovers who nudge women towards the procedure, and from society, who brands them with a scarlet letter.

A woman who understands her value however, takes complete ownership her body.

She is responsible with what she has because she knows it valuable, and then makes the best decision for her.

Not for her parents or boyfriend, but for her. You should never give any man, or anyone for that matter, the power to tarnish your name. A woman who is in tune with her self-worth abides in that.

Think of Amber Rose. Because she strips and loves sex, society is quick to label her a hoe. Say what you want about the now talk-show host and model for multiple brands, but she recognizes her self-worth and operates in an air of confidence because of it.

Amber Rose even led a ‘SlutWalk’ in Los Angeles to reclaim the word ‘slut’ for something more positive and empowering.

The courage to defend herself stems from the value she sees in herself.

She knows she’s more than her amount of sexual encounters on a day in-day out basis, and she does she refuses to let her value be attached to that single facet alone.  

If every woman understood the amount of power she possessed simply by being a woman, there would be a significant decrease in break-up inspired romantic comedies.

Women are stronger than we think, they’re stronger than they think, too. But the second a woman realizes it, the potential is limitless.

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Joshua Eferighe

Highly opinionated, contentious and one to always speak his mind, Joshua Eferighe has been on the path of expression through writing before he even chose the profession. Love him or hate him, you'll always want to know what he has to say.