Never Back Down: Why Women Who Stand Up, Stand Out

Hillary Clinton lost the Presidential election to Donald Trump. Leading up to the final hours of election night, when it was clear that Trump was to be President-elect there was a kind of gloom that stuck around like an unbearable smog.

Hillary was supposed to make history. In being the first woman elected President of the United States she would be a beacon of inspiration to a generation of girls.

Then she lost.

But the reality of the matter is that Hillary still made history, in being the first woman to win the nomination for an American national political party.

Despite the landslide loss to Trump, Clinton managed to send a message that still resonated, to stand up, as a human, an American, and as a woman for what you believe.

Is it maternal instincts causing an emotional tug between home and work lives? Is it cultural and institutional barriers limiting the success of women? 

Possibly, but neither are enough of an excuse for the marginalization that’s evidenced every day.

Between the ever-present rape culture that plagues our college campuses, cat-calls and the war on a woman’s choice to police their own bodies, everyday women deal with hurdles, simply because they are women, that men never have to face.

The talk of this ‘glass-ceiling’ that Hillary often references, is real. There’s a disparity in pay, equality, and basic human rights that, in 2016, women are still on the frontlines battling for. 

Though Hillary’s campaign was brutal, messy, and sometimes hard to watch, it showed that you can stand up and speak against these injustices, even with the loss.

A lot of factors that contribute to this metaphorical ‘glass ceiling’ is out of your control, but there is something very simple that can dramatically change the nature of your career wages, relationships, and experience in bed – and it’s confidence.

Earn More Money

Women are naturally less assertive than men. Studies have shown that women are less self-assured than men, which is exactly the kind of attribute you’re gonna need if you want to succeed.

Compared with men, women don’t consider themselves ready for promotions, they predict they’ll do worse on tests, and they generally underestimate their abilities. This derives from factors ranging from upbringing to biology, it’s a trend that, once identified, is simple to change.

What this study shows, sadly, is that is a woman does not stand her ground, she will not be taken seriously. 

In 2015, women working full time in the United States typically were paid just 80 percent of what men were paid, the Economic Justice reported in a study called The Simple Truth about The Gender Pay Gap.

A study has found that women who are more “bullish” or assertive at work earn on average more money than their colleagues who are perceived as nice, the Independent reported.

In a new study published in the European Journal of Work and Organisational Psychology found that dominant women – women who were clear and confident in expressing their expectations and did not double down from their orders – were the ones who ended up making the most money.

The fact the amount of success a woman can have is directly correlated with how serious she takes herself is just as hopeful as it is saddening. 

On one hand, it’s a shame that we don’t judge potential employees by their qualifications, but on the other hand it’s energizing to know that all it takes is confidence and assertiveness in self.   

Get Hurt Less Often, Recover Faster

Heartbreak is inevitable, but some women go through spells of heartbreak far more often than others. When a guy feels that he can take advantage of you, he will. A confident woman who recognizes her value will not compromise herself, no matter how sweet the soft whispers are.

The ability to see their self-worth and know they’re something great gives confident, independent women the ability to handle situations that women who are more reserved fold on. 

Things like standing up for your principles in your dating life that you may have put up with before, and not being afraid to move on from something that doesn’t meet your personal standards, are perks of being assertive and uncompromising, and is something that sets the tone for the entire relationship once it’s made plain in from the start.

When a woman is firm about what she wants and never concedes on her beliefs or morals for the happiness of a man, she then puts herself in a preventative position against any devices of an ill-intentioned guy.

You’ll Have Better Sex

A secure woman exudes an inner strength and independence that is naturally attractive.

Success in the bedroom is down to comfort and open communication. This allows partners to freely express their desires and when it’s not enjoyable.

Things like using eye contact, laughing at yourself, introducing sex toys, masturbating, letting your significant other watch you masturbate are all examples that barely scratch the surface of what confidence brings to the bedroom.

And beyond pleasing him and making his time more enjoyable, confidence in the bedroom makes sex more enjoyable for you as well. Knowing what you want and defining it will make the bedroom a much more enjoyable place.

When you’re confident, you possess a certain set of intangibles that attracts people to you; the art of great conversation, the feeling of being important and in control, and a focus on other people.

Being assertive in your place of profession, your relationship, and in the bedroom are all examples of being an individual who not only owns who they are, but is proud and demands respect for who they are.

Hillary may have lost the election but she, despite constant scandal, maintained an assertiveness that will hopefully set an example for millions of women in the future who will finally break the ceiling.

That ceiling now has a crack.

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Joshua Eferighe

Highly opinionated, contentious and one to always speak his mind, Joshua Eferighe has been on the path of expression through writing before he even chose the profession. Love him or hate him, you'll always want to know what he has to say.